Getting the Green Light?
There's this girl. She's totally gorgeous. When she looks your way, your heart skips a beat. You take a chance and try talking with her. When she smiles back, you wonder if you're in heaven. Is she really interested in you, or was she glancing at the guy behind you?
Females can be hard to read. If a girl has a crush on you, she might sneak a peek at you when you're not looking — but you'd need radar vision to see. She might conveniently plant herself near your locker — but is she there to see another dude whose locker is next to yours? She might dial your phone number and hang up — thank goodness for caller ID. She might even get her friends to find out juicy bits of information about you — typically annoying, but if it happens, you might as well leak the name of your favorite candy bar.
Obviously, none of these clues is very helpful. The best way to know if a girl is interested in you is to talk with her and pay attention to the signals she gives you face to face. Chatting between classes, during lunch or at a sporting event provides a casual way to get acquainted.
If a guy [I'm interested in] is doing something, I want to be a part of it. I won't go away,” 17-year-old Marissa Everitt says. “I'll try to have a conversation with him that's more involved than chitchat. I want to get to know him and about his family and stuff through a friendship.”
Anna Runtzel, 15, adds, “I try to compliment the guy, too, and spend time with him to make it obvious [that I'm interested].”
Yellow Light: Proceed With Caution
Suppose you have confirmed proof that a girl likes you. Not every female who's interested in you is someone you should be interested in. Before you spend too much time trying to attract a particular girl, it's important to find out whether she is a Christian. By choosing to date only Christian girls, you lessen the chance of compromising your principles.
Why does it matter? A girl without spiritual conviction can tempt you to go places you don't want to go or do things you know you shouldn't. As 1 Corinthians 15:33 says, “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.' “ So watch out for the girl who struts around like a TV celebrity. You're too eager for a girlfriend if she can take advantage of you by getting you to do her homework, to keep giving her money or to lie or steal for her.
As you do proceed with caution, remember the saying <em>The best way to make a friend is to be a friend </em>. In other words, modeling the characteristics and traits you're looking for in a girl will make you more attractive to the opposite sex.
When I asked girls what qualities they look for in a guy, g odliness was the No. 1 quality mentioned. “I like a Christian who is growing in his faith and has a passion for Christ,” Marissa says. “His faith is consistently growing and he'll challenge me in my faith at the same time.”
Other traits the girls listed include respect, politeness, an outgoing personality, honesty, integrity and a good sense of humor. “I like a guy who is generous, who I can be comfortable with,” Anna adds. “He's willing to listen and bring me up when I'm down.”
Red Light: Who Not To Date
From your perspective, superficiality (wearing too much makeup can be a warning), use of vulgar language and trend-following (looking like MTV fashion clones) are danger signs for you to avoid in a girl.
Jesus said, “By their fruit you will recognize them” (Matthew 7:20 ). That's not what they eat; it's how they act. If you're uncertain about a girl's spiritual condition, just watch for the clues. If she brags on herself, talks about money too much or mentions a wild party she just attended, it's time to move on. There could be rotten fruit on that tree.
A girl who is walking with the Lord — and you, too — should mirror the qualities the Bible calls the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. You can't be filled with God's Spirit without revealing it to others, girls included.
