I had lived next door to Bob for quite some time. He was my age, and we actually went to the same school. We had never really talked though. He hung with his Christian friends, and I, of course, did not hang with Christians because I was not a Christian. Or I should say, I was not a Christian—yet.
One day, after a very moving talk by his youth pastor at church, Bob decided that I needed to become a Christian. He must have seen the void in my soul from all the way across his front yard. I had questions and doubts about God, His love for me and His purpose for my life. I would lie in bed at night thinking, Does God exist? And if He does, does He even care that I’m here?
Bob proceeded to reach out to me in a way I had never thought possible. He bought something that looked like a fish and stuck it on the back of his car. When he drove home that night, he didn’t say anything to me (remember, we had never really talked), but I noticed that he parked in his driveway instead of pulling into the garage. Surely I would notice this new Christian symbol and convert.
Now, for most non-Christians, this would have been enough. But I guess you could say I had a hard heart. So I stood my ground. I even became defiant. After a few days of Bob’s evangelism I’d had enough. I went to the store and bought my own fish. But mine was different. Mine had the word “DARWIN” written on the inside and feet sticking out of the bottom. I took my Darwin fish out of its box and slapped it on the back of my car as if to say, “You’ll never convert me, you Christian, you!”
I parked my car with the bumper facing Bob’s house that night. The battle was on.
DUELING FISHES
Thinking I had fended off Bob’s crusade, I went to school with pride the next morning—only to come home and find that Bob had a new, improved fish on his car. His bumper now had a fish with the word “TRUTH” written on the inside. He was fighting fire with fire—yet I still decided not to convert.
I jumped in my car and went to the bumper ornament store, frantically looking for an answer to Bob’s theological maneuverings. Being a non-Christian, I was certainly no expert on the Bible, but I remembered hearing a story about Jesus ministering to 5,000 people with fish. Bob must have learned his fish evangelism tactics from Jesus himself. Although I felt sorry for the donkeys who must have been branded back in Bible times before there were cars with bumpers, I still was not moved enough to start going to church.
These thoughts were going through my mind when suddenly I found it, the perfect response to the Truth fish: an “evolve” fish holding a wrench!
Driving home, I thought only of the look that would be on Bob’s face when he saw my footed fish. But as I pulled into the driveway, Bob was already there, standing in front of his bumper. I hopped out of my car and pointed to my evolutionary fish. But Bob was smiling. What could he be hiding? Why was he so confident?
He stepped aside and let me see his bumper where there were now two fish. He had anticipated my move and placed a footed, Darwin fish on his car. But it was a tiny fish. Behind it was a much larger Truth fish. And his Truth fish was eating my Darwin fish!
I’d never seen such nerve. Bob had ice in his veins. It was go time.
SEEING THE LIGHT—OR STARS, MAYBE
Bob yelled at me from his driveway, “You need to get saved!” This took me by surprise. It was the first time we had actually spoken.
I yelled back with a cliché from my camp, “Your way is intolerant!”
Bob thought for a second. “I don’t believe the liberal media!”
“The church is full of hypocrites!” I responded from my front yard.
Our voices were getting louder. A small crowd of neighborhood spectators was beginning to gather across the street. A young mother pulled her child closer.
Bob raised his NIV Student Bible high overhead and screamed, “Turn or burn!” as he started unbuttoning his shirt to reveal a Christian T-shirt underneath.
“You’ll never take me alive!” I shouted.
I now noticed the writing on Bob’s shirt. Beneath a man pumping iron, bold letters stated, “I’M A MEMBER OF GOD’S GYM.” The situation was now very clear. Bob was going to kick my spiritual rear end.
I took off running, but Bob, a member of God’s gym, was much faster. He tackled me just as I reached the end of my front lawn and started bashing me in the head with his paperback Bible. “Don’t you get it? My Truth fish has eaten your Darwin fish. The game’s over. It’s time to convert.”
I paused and looked up from the ground at Bob. He gathered himself and calmly said, “Now, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. It’s up to you.”
Tears began to flow because of the Holy Spirit’s conviction (and possibly from the recent blows to my head). I pulled myself up to my knees and prayed for the first time as years of sadness, confusion and frustration began to fade away. And all of this was made possible because of Bob, a guy who had never even spoken to me before, but ministered to me just the same.
In the quiet of that moment, I thought I actually heard the music of angels off in the distance. Only later was it explained to me that the sound was just the siren from the ambulance that would soon be rushing me to the emergency room. Either way, I’ll always remember the wonderful day that I came to know Jesus.
• • •
Well, to be honest, that’s not how it really happened. In fact, Bob just came over one day after school and introduced himself to me. That’s how it really started. 
