HEY MIKE! I’m a Christian, yet I’m really struggling with pornography. I know it’s wrong and that God doesn’t want me to have any part of this stuff, so what steps can I take to stay away from porn? Should I pray whenever a lustful thought enters my mind?
—Name Withheld
HEY MIKE! I have a problem with hentai and anime porn. But since the images aren’t real, is it OK to look at them?
—Name Withheld
HEY MIKE! I get pornography in my e-mail inbox, despite having filters. The problem is, once they’re in my inbox I can’t help looking at them. I know this is wrong. Can you help?
—J.W., Blantyre, Malawi
I’m convinced that the Enemy is working overtime, attempting to catch your eyes with pornography, enslave your heart—and, ultimately, drive your focus away from God.
And to be honest, I’m angry. I’m angered by a multibillion-dollar porn industry that’s invading the Internet and the media like a cancer, a business that profits off the addictions of its users. I’m angered by the sickening fact that countless young men are being led down a path to destruction.
But I’m also proud. I’m proud of all the Breakaway readers who have the courage to admit that porn is a problem—and who desire a way out. That’s the first step in the right direction.
The question is, what’s the next step—and the step after that? How can you stop porn from becoming a pattern, a habit, an addiction—a cancer that destroys your faith? Here’s a plan that will help to get you back on a righteous walk.
Step One: Know that you’re NOT alone! The silence of sexual struggles has pushed too many Christian guys over the edge. They end up keeping quiet about their “deepest, darkest sins” because they buy a lie: “If I say something, I’ll be condemned by everyone—my church, my parents, even God.” And a second lie: “I’m the only one who knows about this, so it really doesn’t affect anyone else.” But get this: You’re not alone in your failures—and you don’t have to be alone in your healing.
Step Two: Know that God forgives you. Chances are, you’ve tried to hide this sin for a long time. Maybe you’ve confessed it to God, yet are still entangled in guilt—flogging yourself for your mistakes. Understand this: If you’ve confessed this sin to Jesus Christ, you really are forgiven by God. He knows your deepest secrets and sins—and He loves you in spite of them! You’re not condemned for what you’ve done, and Jesus doesn’t hold it against you. If you let Him, God will help you practice these steps and overcome this struggle.
Step Three: Shake off the shame. Shame is guilt run out of control. It’s what the Devil uses to tell us that, because of whatever we have done, we’re bad, worthless and beyond God’s love and forgiveness. You’ve got to work through these feelings and grasp the truth of God: Regardless of what you’ve looked at, how many times, with whom, or where, you can start over. While there may be some pain and tough consequences to work through, you can have a new beginning with Christ. He wants to restore your purity.
Step Four: Talk it out. This is certainly the hardest step of all, but one I encourage you to take: Share your struggle with your parents, youth pastor or some other trustworthy Christian adult. Don’t bear this alone. Get some help working through the shame. Find someone who can help you maintain a righteous walk.
Step Five: Tune into Scripture. The authors of Every Young Man’s Battle suggest that you use a “protective verse” as a shield—even consider repeating it in the face of temptation: “Flee from sexual immorality. . . . You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body” (1 Corinthians 6:18-20).
Step Six: Be willing to run. Paul told Timothy to “flee the evil desires of youth. . . .” (2 Timothy 2:22). I think, basically, he was saying, “Get out while the gettin’s good.” The longer you play with fire, the more apt you are to get burned. God will always give us an escape route in temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13). A guy who is serious about directing his drives and staying “porn-free” will take that route when he gets the chance.
