HEY MIKE! I’m 15, and I’ve been a Christian for years. I don’t struggle with porn addiction or swearing or some of the other problems guys share with you. I try to be a good person, yet I feel as if I’m falling away from God. Even though I pray every day, I rarely read my Bible. I haven’t even opened it in a long time. I really desire a strong relationship with Christ, but I feel too busy to do anything about it. Can you please help me?
—J.Z., Charlotte, N.C.
Busyness is a definite spiritual killer.
I, too, have been so preoccupied with the pressures of life — including my desire to “do the Lord’s work” — that I’ve neglected my relationship with Christ. At times, my Bible and my faith have gotten pretty dusty.
Know what I’ve discovered? Even “good Christian guys” go through seasons of spiritual emptiness. And the heroes of faith weren’t immune either. Moses spent years in the silence of the desert wilderness; David hid in caves, crying out to God as enemies surrounded him; Jonah felt abandoned by his Creator when he was stuck in the belly of a fish; Joseph sat alone in a prison cell, prayers seemingly unanswered.
Howard Baker, author of Soul Keeping, a book that has helped me, says this about our walk with Jesus: “Many of us have felt mired in busyness, the pain of our past, apathy toward God, phoniness in prayer, our own self-absorption, or in a general feeling of ‘lostness’ in our spiritual life.”
Baker points out that these dry, desert times occur for a reason. They give us a thirst for the Living Water that only Christ can provide. “We need to accept that spiritual growth is not only a journey, but God Himself is leading us in it — through times of challenge and darkness, as well as times of ease and blessing.”
So, let’s get practical. What can you do to reconnect with Christ? Try this:
• Strive to put God first. Face it, you and I are busy. Yet we have time to eat three meals a day, shower, go to school and work, watch TV, hang out with friends. (I think you get my point.) Putting God first is a spiritual discipline, one that involves a conscious decision on our part every day.
• Continue praying. Even though the Lord feels distant right now, try to push aside your emotions and accept this truth: Jesus Christ loves you and cares deeply about you and your spiritual struggles. He will help you. Tell Him everything you’re feeling, and ask for guidance. Pray anytime, anywhere. Honest communication with God is a healthy way to work through your desert experience.
• Begin reading your Bible. You mentioned that you haven’t cracked it open in a long time. Like it or not, neglecting Scripture can result in spiritual “lostness.” Head to your local Christian bookstore and get a version of the Bible that you can understand, along with a devotion guide.
• Let iron sharpen iron. Guys need guy mentors. Talk to your dad, pastor or youth worker and ask him to pray with you and pour God’s wisdom into your life.
HEY MIKE! I once struggled with pornography, like so many other guys. Even though I’ve given it up, I’m still tempted to look at the stuff. I don’t think this desire will ever go away. But here’s what I do to stay pure: I run from porn when temptation hits. If it’s OK, I’d like to share with my fellow Breakaway readers ways to beat Satan on this issue. But before I do, I want to thank you for all your advice, Mike. You truly are a valuable brother to all of us.
—P.M., Rockville, Md.
I’m so proud of you for putting an end to this deadly struggle. I’m also honored that you want to share what you’ve learned.
So, guys, here’s P.M.’s advice, from one teen to another:
• Accept that you can’t stay away from porn in your own power. You need the Holy Spirit to help you. Downloading software to block the stuff can help, but it won’t solve your problem. Because guys have such a strong desire for sex, we’re attracted to sexual images. So go one step deeper in your fight against porn: Set things straight with God. Confess your weakness to Him, allowing the Lord to transform your heart and mind, making you pure.
• Never stare temptation in the eye. The Bible tells us to resist Satan and to submit ourselves to God. (See James 4:7.) So when the desire for “eye candy” enters my mind, I shift my thoughts to something pure. I often “mentally hum” Christian songs. Hebrews 3:1 says: “Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess.”
• Read Scripture every day. God’s Word is food, spiritual food. We need daily nourishment from the Bible to stay strong.
• Never fight this battle alone. You need a godly man, such as your father, who can pray for you and help you when you feel weak.
These are the steps I have taken, guys. Please seriously consider following my advice. Above all, hang in there. With God’s guidance, you can steer clear of porn and pursue purity.
