HEY MIKE! I’ve known this girl at church for a long time. (We’ve practically grown up together.) I really like her and want to tell her how I feel, but I can’t. I’m afraid I’ll ruin our friendship. But every time I see her, I go INSANE! What should I do? When does “like” turn to love?
—M.H., Winter Park, Fla.
Think about it, M.H. You’ve known this girl for a long time, so why are you agonizing over telling her how you feel about her? I seriously doubt that she will reject you. Unlike guys, girls actually want males to share their TRUE feelings with them.
Discerning between serious LIKE and heart-thumping LOVE gets kind of fuzzy. Both involve a magnetic-like attraction as well as those head-over-heels “insane attacks” you mentioned. But the difference between LIKE and LOVE is this: Love goes way beyond simple emotions. True love involves commitment. It means putting the needs of another above your own: “It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:5-6). Is this what you experience when you’re with this girl?
Here’s what I suggest you do. First, pray about this whole situation. Ask God to help you sort through your feelings and to help you understand the difference between like and love. Ask Him for the courage to accept the possibility that she may only want to be friends.
Next, find a trustworthy adult guy (your dad, a youth worker) and get an older male’s perspective. It really helps to learn from guys who have been there.
Finally, when you feel the moment is right, talk to this girl. Tell her how special she is to you as well as how much you value her friendship. Make an effort to clue in to how she feels about you. Then it’s time for the next step: Choose to hold on to a great friendship . . . or move it to a different level. 
