HEY MIKE! A buddy and I have developed an amazing friendship, and we are now at a point where we are comfortable talking to each other about purity. We’re open to asking stuff like, “When do you struggle most?” and “What causes you to struggle?” We really want to be there for each other and keep each other accountable for our actions when we are alone. Can you give me some good questions for us to ask each other? We need something that demands solid answers and complete honesty, not a list that permits us to answer, “Oh—it's OK!” or “I'm doin‘ alright." Got any ideas?
—B.R., Nipawin, Saskatchewan
A hero of the Christian faith, an 18th-century English scholar named John Wesley, asked that same question more than 200 years ago.
During his years as an Oxford student, he co-founded an accountability group called The Holy Club: a bunch of young men who desperately wanted to help each other grow in their faith and live pure lives.
John and his friends were sick of the grip sin had on them. They were serious about having a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ and living more consistently for Him. As a way to stay accountable to each other and to God, John created lists of questions that—as you put it, B.R.—demanded solid answers and complete honesty.
Get this: These lists are still used today in churches and men’s ministries throughout the world. I adapted two of them below.
As you go through these questions, cling to the hope we have in 1 John 1:9: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
Eight In-Your-Face Accountability Questions
1. What known sins have you committed since our last meeting?
2. What temptations have you struggled with?
3. How were you delivered?
4. What have you thought, said or done that causes your conscience to feel uneasy? (Share them.)
5. Is your thought life pure??? (Tell what you’re doing to protect it or describe how you’ve blown it.)
6. Are you spending time alone with Jesus? (Describe your quiet times or tell why you’re neglecting them.)
7. Are you keeping any secrets?
8. Have you lied about any of the previous questions?
John Wesley’s Self-Examination Exercise*
• Am I consciously or unconsciously creating the impression that I am better than I really am? In other words, am I a hypocrite?
• Am I honest in all my acts and words, or do I exaggerate?
• Am I a slave to dress, friends, work or habits?
• Did the Bible live in me today?
• Am I enjoying prayer?
• Do I disobey God in any way?
• Am I defeated in any part of my life?
• Am I jealous, impure, critical, irritable, touchy or distrustful?
• Am I proud?
• Is there anyone whom I fear, dislike, disown, criticize, hold a resentment toward or disregard? If so, what am I doing about it?
• Do I grumble or complain constantly?
• Is Christ real to me?
* Adapted from a list compiled by Howard Culbertson, Southern Nazarene University.
