One of my favorite feelings is that electric sense of anticipation that ripples through a crowd before a band I love takes the stage. You know it’s gonna rock, and you can’t wait for the show.
Recently, I had the chance to see Pillar live. Listening to the hum of the band’s amplifiers before the concert, I relished the calm before the storm. And when the quartet from Tulsa, Okla., took the stage, they didn’t disappoint. From the first crushing power chords erupting from guitarist Noah Henson’s Splawn amp to drummer Lester Estelle’s pounding of the skins to Kalel’s pulsating vibe on bass, Pillar lived up to its towering name.
Up front, vocalist Rob Beckley matched every ounce of his bandmates’ intensity, belting out old favorites and new tracks from Pillar’s most recent release, The Reckoning. All in all, it was a very satisfying evening of headbanging entertainment.
But Pillar, of course, aims to do more than simply entertain. Much more. After all, the group’s name derives from 1 Timothy 3:14-15, where Paul writes, “Although I hope to come to you soon ... if I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth.”
There’s not much that’s cooler than hearing such a great group live. But having a chance to sit down with Pillar’s lead singer and hear about his heart for Christ and for his band’s fans—those who know Jesus and those who don’t—might just be better. The day after the show, I talked with Rob about his band’s journey and learned more about the spiritual passion that provides Pillar’s firm foundation.
Stoking the Fire of Faith ... in the Real World
The Reckoning marks Pillar’s fourth studio album since 2001. Despite the music world’s shifting tastes (the nü metal/rapcore scene from which the band emerged now seems so 1990s), Pillar has continually adjusted its sound and remains one of Christian music’s premier rock acts. The first few drumbeats and guitar notes of album-opener “Everything,” for example, bring to mind Audioslave’s hits.
According to Rob, Pillar’s evolving sound is a deliberate choice driven by a desire to connect with a broader audience. “On this record,” he says, “our mindset was that we want to reach somebody who is outside the church. We aren’t going to abandon the church to do this, but we had a vision for branching out. Hopefully nonbelieving listeners will be impacted by that.”
Given that goal, lyrics on many songs deal with real-world issues even as they hold out messages of hope, redemption and forgiveness. Anyone grappling with confusing situations or disappointment will find a friend in The Reckoning’s honest exploration of the connection between fear and faith.
Perhaps no song on the album sums up that theme better than “Sometimes,” as Rob sings, “Things get so complicated/I’m frustrated, there’s confusion in my head.” But the remedy is never farther away than our knees. “It’s times like these/That I need to stop and think/... Down on my knees/... God help me please/To make sense of all this.”
Fear, Doubt and Faith
Talking with Rob, it’s obvious that persevering through times of doubt is something he’s passionate about. When I asked him what he would say to those who struggle with doubt or feel as if they haven’t been forgiven, he responded, “That’s been a huge thing for me. Sometimes I ask myself, ‘I’m no better than anybody, why am I up here?’ But I’ve learned that God can handle those questions. He can handle my doubt. The songs ‘Rewind’ and ‘Simply’ from our last CD [2005’s Where Do We Go from Here?] deal with that. On the new album, ‘Tragedy’ and ‘When Tomorrow Comes’ address the same issue, that sometimes you don’t feel good enough to serve God.”
“Tragedy” talks about our need for salvation and the critical fact that we can’t save ourselves. Rob admits that need when he sings, “Somebody tell me how to save me from myself/’Cause every time that I try it’s such a tragedy.” The song then alludes to the fact that we must submit to somebody outside ourselves, namely Jesus Christ, to find the salvation we’re looking for (“Submit to my submission/Before I get shot down”).
Likewise, “When Tomorrow Comes” addresses letting go of the past and encourages us to remember that every day offers the possibility of a new beginning: “Can we find a way to let it go?/When tomorrow comes/Today will be a brand new day.”
Temptation and Transparency
Another lyric from that track also emphasizes depending on other believers as we experience life’s hardest knocks. “If you just hold my hand,” Rob says in the song, “We’ll make it through the day.” Now, hand-holding may not seem like the most manly thing in the world. But Rob means telling the truth about what’s really going on inside. That, he says, is the key to resisting temptation.
As we talked about overcoming sins that sabotage our walk with God, the words transparency and vulnerability popped up repeatedly. “To be transparent with others and with God, I have to be transparent with myself first,” Rob notes. “If I’m not willing to tell myself that I need help or that I’m struggling, then I can’t be transparent with you either. If we’re out there struggling with something on our own, we’ll feel like we are the only ones dealing with it—like when guys struggle alone with a pornography habit. But when you open up, then you find out that, you know what, dude, you’re not the only one. “
I could tell that transparency mattered a lot to Rob, because he had a lot to say about being real with our brothers in Christ. “For guys, having a vulnerable side and showing brokenness is our biggest challenge,” he continued. “I think that’s ultimately what stops a lot of open communication. We are afraid of how the other person is going to react, or we’re afraid of how they are going to respond if I tell them I am doing something wrong. But it’s so important to have somebody there to talk through it.”
Bottling things up, Rob insists, gives the devil a foothold. “Being ashamed of stuff is a complete lie from Satan. The devil wants you to feel ashamed, he wants you to feel that everything you have done is shameful. But the truth is you don’t have to stay in that place. If we are open about our sin, then there’s room for growth. That’s where true healing comes from—getting the lies and the black tar out of our lungs so we can breathe in the refreshing air of Christ.”
A Place for Pain
If you compare Pillar’s songs to those from secular bands, at first you might notice some lyrical similarities. “Awake,” for example, asks, “Why do I feel so far away?” On the surface, a line like that doesn’t sound too different from the stuff Godsmack, Nickelback or Three Days Grace sing about.
The difference is that Pillar wants to help audiences do something with their pain. Rob comments, “Take Three Days Grace’s song ‘Pain.’ It relates to a lot of hurting kids. When they hear it, the song makes them feel like there are other people going through this too, and there is some comfort in that thought. But at the same time, they don’t have to look for a way out. They just sit there and dwell in their pity, like, ‘I’m just going to be miserable. This is my outlet.’”
Pillar wants listeners to know that there’s so much more to life than wallowing in wounded emotions. “The problem,” Rob believes, “isn’t that they are cutting themselves or hurting themselves or whatever. The problem is they have put their identity in something other than Christ. They are hurting because they feel they don’t look good enough, or because they didn’t make the football team or because someone at school is making fun of them. Each of those kids needs to allow Christ to wrap His arms around him. So I challenge people to open their hearts to Jesus, even if they don’t think their relationship with God is where it’s supposed to be.”
Rob’s Reckoning
If there’s one thing that sums up Pillar’s lyrics and Rob Beckley’s soft-spoken but fiery conviction to follow Christ, it’s a willingness to reckon with sin and excuses. The album’s title track reminds us that a spiritual reckoning begins when we stop blaming others and begin to take responsibility for our choices (“Why do we all keep looking/For someone to blame/The score needs settled/But this isn’t a game/... This is the reckoning”).
And that mindset extends to how Rob thinks about Satan’s presence in our lives. Although he recognizes Satan’s influence is real—Revelation12:10 names him the “accuser of our brothers”—the singer doesn’t want to give the devil too much due.
“Sometimes when we make the wrong choice, we’re like, ‘Satan, get behind me.’ But I think we’re giving Satan too much credit when we fail to admit that we’re the ones clicking the mouse, we’re the ones cutting ourselves, we’re the ones doing the drugs. Nobody is clicking the lighter for us. We are the ones doing it.
“Satan can fill our heads with lies,” Rob continues, “and we can continue to hit replay over and over. Those lies make us believe and feel one way, but when we give in to them, it’s still our decision. Satan doesn’t make you do anything, just like God does not make you love Him. He is there waiting for you to come to Him, but He does not make you.”
Following His Plan
As Pillar crisscrosses the country (they played about 35 dates on the The Reckoning tour), the ultimate message band members want to deliver is this: You can trust God.
“God has a plan for your life,” Rob says. “His hand is on you. Whatever you pursue, pursue it wholeheartedly—whether I should be on the soccer team, whether I’m supposed to be an artist or a writer. Pursue it with passion. If it doesn’t work out, then it wasn’t God’s plan. Sometimes we have to try things more than once, and the process of learning discernment can be a hard one. Sometimes God says no to something we want so badly.
“But if you keep pursing intimacy with Him, He’ll keep leading you. God knows what we need to grow, and He knows what we need to learn a certain lesson. No matter what happens, we can trust that He has something beneficial for us in the long term.”
Perhaps no song on The Reckoning sums up that idea better than “Resolution,” which promises that our relationship with Him will be the adventure of a lifetime: “Just keep on reaching for the sky/... When you let love elevate you/... You’re in for the ride of your life.” 
